You look good, you fuck good, and you can suck a mean dick………….and you are pretty much my best friend.
- How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
- If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
- According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.
- You’re hotter than a bunsen burner.
- If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so I could get in you and explode!
- If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
GW gave me an early birthday present which is a wok for stir fry and then said “now get in the kitchen where you belong”.
GW was on flood duty all last week so he missed out on Spring Break. As a result this week he has not gone to any of his classes and has not moved from our couch or stopped playing Final Fantasy IX in his underwear.
While GW was away for flood duty he texted me a list of things that he loves about me including:
-Being comfortable enough to scratch his junk in front of me
- Being able to drink beer whenever he wants.
-I play video games with him
Gerald and I are discussing vacation possibilities for the summer.
Me: Fort Lauderdale is the fourth gayest friendly city in the U.S.
Gerald: No wonder there is a military base there.
Me: What could we do at home for Valentines Day?
Gerald: watch a movie?
Me: Oh yeah like what?
Gerald: Something romantic……my bloody valentine?
cool points - 50
GW: I have been learning a lot of new German words lately. I think I should take a class it just comes so natural to me.
Me: Where have you been learning German.
GW: From my Fondor(German Spice) can.
GW: Kayla, I have a confession to make, and this isn’t going to be easy.
I had sex with a woman.
Me: (lauging) okay who?
GW: Rosy palms and her five friends
GW called me after I got out of class
GW: Guess where I am ?!
GW: I”M HOME! GUESS WHAT I AM
Me: Uhhh drunk?
GW YEAHHHHHHHHHH I drank a bottle of wine
When I came home GW was in the floor in front of the door in his mannies
No shit there I was parked in a dimly lit parking lot of a ghetto gas station on Hal Greer. A guy with security t shirt walks up and I think, oh why is security coming over here? I opened my door which unlocked the other door and then he jumps in my car and starts punching me in the face demanding all of my money and wallet. I say OK and as I reach for my wallet I raise my foot up and kick him in the face with my combat boot on. He goes out of the car falls to the ground, I shut my car door and drive away. Pwnage.
Huntington is ghetto
Every time I jumped up it went gadoosh-gadoosh-gadoosh
Today I got ready and made several trips out to my car to prepare to go to my parents house with my dogs. GW was standing next to me and I said “love you bye” and l left. He later called and asked what I was doing and I said I was at my parents. He had went to work without noticing that I had been gone. He obviously cares so much about me.